Posts Tagged ‘self’

Thinking Fast and Slow

Posted: March 2, 2015 in book
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Part 1 
Two Systems
  1. The Character of the Story
  2. Attention and Effort
  3. The Lazy Controller
  4. The Associative Mechanism
  5. Cognitive Ease
  6. Norms, Surprises and Causes
  7. A Machine to Jumping into Conclusion
  8. How Judgement happens.
  9. Answering an easier Question.
Part 2
Heuristic and Biases
  1. The Law of small numbers
  2. Anchors
  3. The Science of availability
  4. Availability, Emotion and Risk
  5. Tom W’s Speciality
  6. Linda : Less is more
  7. Causes trump Statistics
  8. Regression to means
  9. Taming intuititive Predictions.
Part 3
Overconfidence
  1. The illusion of understanding
  2. The illusion of validity
  3. Intution vs Formulla
  4. Expert Intution : What can we trust
  5. The outside view
  6. The Engine of Capitalism
Part 4
Choices
  1. Bernoulli’s Error
  2. Prospect Theory
  3. The Endownment effect
  4. Bad Events
  5. The fourfold pattern
  6. Rare Events
  7. Risk Policies
  8. Keeping Score
  9. Reversals
  10. Frames and Reality
Part 5
Two Selves
  1. Two Selves
  2. Life as a Story
  3. Experienced Well Being
  4. Thinking about Life

Getting things done

Posted: March 2, 2015 in self
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  1. The Art of Getting things done
    1. A New Practice for a New reality
    2. Getting control of your life : The five stages of mastering work flow
    3. Getting projects creatively under way: The five phases of Project Planning
  2. Practicing Stress free productivity
    1. Getting Started :Setting up the time, space and tools
    2. Collection : Coralling your stuff
    3. Processing : Getting “In” to Empty
    4. Organizing : Setting up the right bucket
    5. Reviewing : Keeping your System functional
    6. Doing : making the best action choices
    7. Getting projects under control.
  3. The power of key principles
    1. The power of the collection habit
    2. The power of next action decision
    3. The power of outcome focussing
    4. Conclusion
Two objectives
  1. Capturing all things,
  2. Disciplining yourself :- “To get the input , to let the output”
  1. The power in a karate punch comes from speed , not muscle.
  2. Controlling the open loops in there lives.
  3. Anything that does not belong where it is, the way it is, is an “open loop” pulling on your attention.
Managing commitments well requires the implementation of some basic activities and behaviors:-
• First of all, if it’s on your mind, your mind isn’t clear. Anything you consider unfinished in any way must be captured in a trusted system outside your mind, or what I call a collection bucket, that you know you’ll come back to regularly and sort through.
• Second, you must clarify exactly what your commitment is and decide what you have to do, if anything, to make progress toward fulfilling it.
• Third, once you’ve decided on all the actions you need to take, you must keep reminders of them organized in a system you review regularly.
 “In knowledge work . . . the task is not given; it has to be determined. ‘What are the expected results from this work?’ is . . . the key question in making knowledge workers productive.” And it is a question that demands risky decisions. There is usually no right answer; there are choices instead. And results have to be clearly specified, if productivity is to be achieved.”
 Outcome thinking is one of the most effective means available for making wishes reality.
 
Most often, the reason something is “on your mind” is that you want it to be different than it currently is, and yet:
• you haven’t clarified exactly what the intended outcome is;
• you haven’t decided what the very next physical action step is; and/or
• you haven’t put reminders of the outcome and the action required in a system you trust.
 
 
 
Here’s how I define “stuff”: anything you have allowed into your psychological or physical world that doesn’t belong where it is, but for which you haven’t yet determined the desired outcome and the next action step.
Instead, the key to managing all of your “stuff” is managing your actions.
not ::— managing time, managing information, or managing priorities
it might amaze you to discover how many next actions for how many projects and commitments remain undetermined by most people. It’s extremely difficult to manage actions you haven’t identified or decided on. Most people have dozens of things that they need to do to make progress on many fronts, but they don’t yet know what they are. And the common complaint that “I don’t have time to ” (fill in the blank) is understandable because many projects seem overwhelming—and are overwhelming because you can’t do a project at all! You can only do an action related to it. Many actions require only a minute or two, in the appropriate context, to move a project forward
There is no reason ever to have the same thought twice, unless you like having that thought.
 
 

The knowledge that we consider knowledge proves itself in action. What we now mean by knowledge is information in action, information focused on results.

“It seems that there’s a part of our psyche that doesn’t know the difference between an agreement about cleaning the garage and an agreement about buying a company”
“The value of goals is not in the future they describe, but the change in perception of reality they foster.”
“Use your mind to think about things, rather than think of them. You want to be adding value as you think about projects and people, not simply reminding yourself they exist.”
“The great secret about goals and visions is not the future they describe but the change in the present they engender.”
“You don’t actually do a project; you can only do action steps related to it. When enough of the right action steps have been taken, some situation will have been created that matches your initial picture of the outcome closely enough that you can call it “done.”
“Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.”

Bud broke the silence. “Kate’s story raises for me an astonishing point, Tom. And that is, when I’m in the box, I need people to cause trouble for me — I actually need problems.”

But remember, when we’re in the box, we’re self-deceived — we’re blind to the truth about others and ourselves. And one of the things we’re blind to is how the box itself undercuts our every effort to obtain the outcomes we think we want.”

“In fact, Tom,” Kate added, “Bryan and I provide each other with such perfect justification, it’s almost as if we colluded to do so. It’s as if we said to each other,

Bud placed both hands on the table and leaned toward me. “So simply by being in the box,” he said slowly and earnestly, “I provoke in others the very behavior I say I hate in them. And they then provoke in me the very behavior they say they hate in me.”

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another is called an act of “self-betrayal.”

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view of reality becomes distorted.

4. So—when I betray myself, I enter the box.

5. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me, and I carry them with me.

6. By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box.

7. In the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and obtain mutual justification. We collude in giving each other reason to stay in the box.

The more people we can find to agree with our side of the story, the more justified we will feel in believing that side of the story. I might recruit my spouse to join with me in blaming my son, for example, or I might gossip about others in order to gather allies at work in my collusion against another person or department.

“So the box gets in the way of our achieving results.”

“There are actually two main reasons why the box undercuts results. The first is what Kate has just taught us. When we’re in the box, what motivates us most is the need for justification, and what will bring us justification is very often at odds with what is best for the organization. Does that make sense?”

“It has to do with my ‘who-focus’ when I’m in the box,”

Out of the box, my what-focus at work is results. In the box, by contrast, my what-focus is justification.

many of the people typically described as being results-focused are anything but that. In the box, they value results primarily for the purpose of creating or sustaining their own stellar reputations — their who-focus is themselves.

when Chuck Staehli succeeded, or when he failed?

Self-betrayal is the germ that creates the disease of self-deception.

I saw in myself a leader who was so sure of the brilliance of his own ideas that he couldn’t allow brilliance in anyone else’s;

was I seeing them as people or as objects?”

“the question ‘How do I get out of the box?’ is really two questions. The first question is ‘How do I get out?’ and the second is ‘How do I stay out once I’m out?’ The question you’re really worried about, I think, is the second—how you stay out.

What doesn’t work in the box
1. Trying to change others.
2. Doing my best to “cope” with others.
3. Leaving
4. Communicating
5. Implementing new skills or techniques
6. Changing my behavior

“In the moment we cease resisting others, we’re out of the box—liberated from self-justifying thoughts and feelings.”

But since there are many people in my life—some that I may be more in the box toward than others—in an important sense, I can be both in and out of the box at the same time. In the box toward some people and out toward others.

it sometimes occurs to me that each of these people on the road is just as busy as I am and just as wrapped up in his or her own life as I am in mine. And in these moments, when I get out of the box toward them, other drivers seem very different to me. In a way, I feel that I understand them and can relate to them, even though I know basically nothing about them.”

You’re worried that in order to stay out of the box, you have to do everything that pops into your head to do for others. And that seems overwhelming, if not foolhardy. Am I right?”

“In other cases,” he continued, “getting out of the box may mean that I relinquish a prejudice that I have held toward those not like myself—people of a different race, for example, or faith, or culture. I will be less judgmental when I see them as people than when I saw them as objects. I will treat them with more courtesy and respect. Again, however, do such changes seem burdensome to you?”

In fact, when we’re feeling overwhelmed, it generally isn’t our obligation to others but our in-the-box desperation to prove something about ourselves that we find overwhelming.

you’ve probably felt overwhelmed, over-obligated, and overburdened far more often in the box than out. To begin with, you might compare your night last night with the nights that came before.”

“Which brings us back to your question, Tom. In your prior job, when you were thinking that your old boss was a real jerk, were you trying to help him, or was this judgment of him really a way of just helping yourself?”

it’s quite easy to get in the box because the justification is so easy—the other guy’s a jerk! But remember, once I get in the box in response, I actually need the other guy to keep being a jerk so that I’ll remain justified in blaming him for being a jerk

Because in the box, I need problems.

Out of the box I understand what it’s like to be in the box. And since, when I’m out of the box, I neither need nor provoke others to be jerks, I can actually ease, rather than exacerbate, tough situations.

“she didn’t need to blame me—even though I made a mistake—because she herself wasn’t in the box. Out of the box she had no need for justification.”

We keep people focused on results and on others.

Knowing the material
* Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and “the box.”
* When you’re in the box, you can’t focus on results.
* Your influence and success will depend on being out of the box.
* You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people.
Living the material
* Don’t try to be perfect. Do try to be better.
* Don’t use the vocabulary—“the box,” and so on—with people who don’t already know it. Do use the principles in your own life.
* Don’t look for others’ boxes. Do look for your own.
* Don’t accuse others of being in the box. Do try to stay out of the box yourself.
* Don’t give up on yourself when you discover you’ve been in the box. Do keep trying.
* Don’t deny that you’ve been in the box when you have been. Do apologize; then just keep marching forward, trying to be more helpful to others in the future.
* Don’t focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do right to help.
* Don’t worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you are helping others.

zen mind beginer mind

Posted: March 2, 2015 in book
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everything that exists has Buddha nature.

Tozan, a famous Zen master, said, “The blue mountain is the father of the white cloud. The white cloud is the son of the blue mountain. All day long they depend on each other, without being dependent on each other. The white cloud is always the white cloud. The blue mountain is always the blue mountain.”
first let them do what they want, and watch them. This is the best policy. To ignore them is not good; that is the worst policy. The second worst is trying to control them. The best one is to watch them, just to watch them, without trying to control them.
The same way works for you yourself as well. If you want to obtain perfect calmness in your zazen, you should not be bothered by the various images you find in your mind. Let them come, and let them go. Then they will be under control.
The true purpose is to see things as they are, to observe things as they are, and to let everything go as it goes.
Water and waves are one. Big mind and small mind are one.
if you have something good for breakfast, you will say, “This is good.” “Good” is supplied as something experienced some time long ago, even though you may not remember when.
Usually when you do something, you want to achieve something, you attach to some result. From achievement to non-achievement means to be rid of the unnecessary and bad results of effort. If you do something in the spirit of non-achievement, there is a good quality in it. So just to do something without any particular effort is enough. When you make some special effort to achieve something, some excessive quality, some extra element is involved in it. You should get rid of excessive things.

Moonwalking with Einstien

Posted: March 2, 2015 in book
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The Smartest Person is Hard to find

  1. Memory technique is simply to think in more “Memorable Ways”.
  2. A trained memory is not a worldy tool , but a
  3. Try to “Rhyme People” Name to other things, so that you can remember there “Names”.

Change the way you persuade
1. How you deliver the information , not the content of the information.
2. Five decision making categories

1. Charismatic
2. Thinkers
3. Skeptics
4. Followers
5. Controllers
Harnessing the Science of Persuasion
1. The principle of Liking
2. The principle of Scarcity
3. Principle of Reciprocity
4. The principle of Social Proof
5. Principle of Consistency
Power of Talk :- Who gets heard and Why ?

The CEO of a major corporation told me that he often has to make decisions in five minutes about matters on which others may have worked five months. He said he uses this rule: If the person making the proposal seems confident, the CEO approves it. If not, he says no.

The Necessary Art of Persuasion

Four ways not to persuade

1. They attempt to make their case with an up-front, hard sell.

1. “It’s far better to present your position with the finesse and reserve of a lion tamer, who engages his “partner” by showing him the legs of a chair. In other words, effective persuaders don’t begin the process by giving their colleagues a clear target in which to set their jaws.”

2. They resist compromise.
3. They think the secret of persuasion lies in presenting great arguments.
4. They assume persuasion is a one-shot effort :- Persuasion is a process, not an event.

Effective persuaders seem to share a common trait: they are open-minded, never dogmatic.

Effective persuasion involves four distinct and essential steps.

1. First, effective persuaders establish credibility.
2. Second, they frame their goals in a way that identifies common ground with those they intend to persuade.
3. Third, they reinforce their positions using vivid language and compelling evidence.
4. And fourth, they connect emotionally with their audience. As one of the most effective executives in our research commented

Telling Tales

There was no building up of the characters. Who was this health worker in Zambia? And what was her world like? What did it feel like to be in the exotic environment of Zambia, facing the problems she faced?

unintelligible to an outsider, is both informative and interesting to its intended audience.

How to Pitch a Brilliant Idea

the four negative stereotypes that are guaranteed to kill a pitch.

The pushover
The robot
The used-car salesman
The charity case is needy

The three types of successful pitchers have their own techniques for doing this

The Showrunner

Pitcher: Remember Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood?
Catcher: Oh, yeah. One of my all-time favorites as a kid.
Pitcher: Yes, it was classic. Then, of course, came Costner’s version.
Catcher: That was much darker. And it didn’t evoke as much passion as the original.
Pitcher: But the special effects were great.
Catcher: Yes, they were.
Pitcher: That’s the twist I want to include in this new series.
Catcher: Special effects?
Pitcher: We’re talking a science fiction version of Robin Hood. Robin has a sorcerer in his band of merry men who can conjure up all kinds of scary and wonderful spells.
Catcher: I love it!

The pitcher sets up his opportunity by leading the catcher through a series of shared memories and viewpoints.

The Artist

The Neophyte

Neophytes are the opposite of showrunners. Instead of displaying their expertise, they plead ignorance. Neophytes score points for daring to do the impossible, something catchers see as refreshing

Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations

Fight Tactics, Not People
The best way to neutralize a tactic is to name it.

  1. Mind and Time are inseparable.
  2. How Judgement works ? Labeling work.
    1. The mind always wants to categorize and compare
    2. Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love, while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.
    3. The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being. It is a state of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically, is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond name and form. The inability to feel this connectedness gives rise to the illusion of separation, from yourself and from the world around you. You then perceive yourself, consciously or unconsciously, as an isolated fragment. Fear arises, and conflict within and without becomes the norm.
    4. What is the greatest obstacle to experiencing this reality?
      Identification with your mind, which causes thought to become compulsive. Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don’t realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being. It also creates a false mind-made self that casts a shadow of fear and suffering.
    5. Thinking has become a disease. Disease happens when things get out of balance.
    6. You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken
    7. there is no end to its depth. You will also feel a subtle emanation of joy arising from deep within: the joy of Being.
    8. Learn to Trust
    9. Because you are identified with it, which means that you derive your sense of self from the content and activity of your mind.
    10.  It is always concerned with keeping the past alive, because without it who are you? It constantly projects itself into the future to ensure its continued survival and to seek some kind of release or fulfillment there.
    11. Thinking and consciousness are not synonymous. Thinking is only a small aspect of consciousness. Thought cannot exist without consciousness, but consciousness does not need thought.
    12.  All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness. The mind then gives form to the creative impulse or insight.
    13. the thought will be the lie, the emotion will be the truth.
    14. So observing our emotions is as important as observing our thoughts?