Start with No – Notes

  1. Have your own calculation ?
  2. Dont show “Neediness “ .
  3. Slow down … To be in control during negotiation..
  4. Don’t worry about Rejection . Rejection is a cause for neediness. It also means trying to be likeable. But also There cannot be any rejection; rejection means your adversary need something from you. If they do not need , then how can there be a rejection.
  5. In Labor Management Dispute – Find a union member who has a big ego , and wants to be liked . Use it ..
  6. It all because team gets killed when the chief negotiator has the neediness to be known as smart, to be liked, to feel important, and urge them to compromise.
  7. Wanting is fine, Needing is not.
  8. You do not need to close ; Your adversary needs to.
  9. In Japan, It is said that make decision through stomach; Not head nor Heart — But with Stomach.
  10. Forget “Yes” and Forget “Maybe” –
  11. Make them Say No.
  12. Negotiation means that Both parties have right to veto . Which is to be the case. And then it would be the idea.
  13. How will they like me; or How they will perceive my company ?
  14. Never, “Save the Adversary” or “Save the Relationship”.
  15. Un – “Qualified” adversary.
  16. Respect, Not Friendship, What you want ?
  17. More important then Friendship is “Effectiveness” and “Respect”.
  18. Why would you want to load down a business relationshipwith a lot of emotional baggage, including guilt, which can bethe by-product of “friendship”? It doesn’t work. It doesn’t pay.
  19. “Lieutenant Camp, you sure make some bad decisions in this air-plane, but don’t worry. As long as you at least do make decisions,we can fix the bad ones.”
  20. Understand the power of “No”.
    1. If you do not accept No, you are going to burn too many bridges
    2. No is not rejection; but a honest decision that can be discussed and reversed.
    3. No will bring you respect
  21. How to build “No” ?
    1. It needs a valid “Mission” and “Purpose”.
    2. Its an Airtight guide to effective decision making.
      1. Typical Conversation
        1. “Why take this deal?”
        2. “The whole thing sounds too good.””Maybe I can win even more.”
        3. “Why are they making this so easy?””What do they know that I don’t know?””This can’t be right.”
        4. “How can I get out of this?”
  22. If your negotiation serves a valid missionand purpose, you don’t have to worry about whether you getevery last dollar or concession out of the deal, or whether you
  23. gave enough dollars and concessions. You don’t worry about thelong-term relationship. You are not responsible for the otherparty’s decisions. You don’t care whether this contract is win-win, win-lose, lose-win, or lose-lose. Such scorekeeping is sud-denly seen for what it is: arbitrary, empty, meaningless. You don’thave to worry about it anymore, and this freedom will liberateyou in a negotiation, believe me.
  24. If you’re not working on be-half of your own mission and purpose, you’re working on behalfof someone else’s.
  25. Problem is not to have an “I-Centered” mission
    1. The essential problem is that they are I-centered. They are set in the world ofthe individual building the mission and purpose.
  26. Money for money’s sake does corrupt; power for power’s sake does corrupt.
  27. Another problem with concentrating on money and power asa mission and purpose is that you’re scorekeeping, and score-keeping means you’re thinking about results over which you have no real control.
  28. W i n -ning isn’t everything, but the will to prepare to win is everything.”
  29. Having Valid M&P ?
    1. It must be set in the “Adversary World” ?
  30. You do not go anywhere without an adversary
  31. Likewise, the mission and purpose of the booking agent for the dance company in the negotiation with the program director was not to secure another week of touring for the company and increase its earnings. It was not to secure a commission for the booking agent and in-crease her earnings. It was to get this director to see and decide that presenting this particular dance company would bring cultural richness to her organization’s audiences and community,and to help the program director fulfill her organization’s ownmission and purpose.
  32. This is the day and age of teamwork in business, and the teammust have its own mission and purpose that is..
  33. In his excellent book Management: Tasks, Responsibilities, and Prac-tices, Peter Drucker dedicates many pages to the issue of under-standing what it is you really do—your mission and purpose. Hewrites, “Your business is never apparent. It requires in-depthquestioning that gives you a process that provides constant refo-cusing of what you do.” You must continuously analyze and ask yourself: What is my business? What is my mission? What is my purpose?
  34. My clients do not set sales targets, quotas, num-bers, percentages. Never. Instead, they set goals they can control…..
  35. Negotiation never ends.
  36. In a negotiation, nurturing will keep the negotiation going through thick and thin. Your ability to nurture will be the key tobringing the negotiation back to the table after a breakdown.Your ability to nurture your adversary, to put him or her at ease,is the key to assuring her that you are listening and that you valuewhat she has to say. Nurturing is also just another way to allowyour adversary to feel okay.
  37. Your job is to get informationfrom the adversary by asking questions, not to provide informa-tion by answering questions.
  38. Blank State
    1. For the negotiator, even a positive attitude is dangerous. Yes, it’strue. It can devolve quickly into neediness, into positive expec-tations. When I teach blank slate, I mean blank slate. And it’shard.
  39. Neither positive nor negative expectations have a place in mysystem. You blank slate and you negotiate, that’s all. When youhave a mission and purpose in place, when you have behavioralgoals in place, when you’ve established your plan to solve the realproblem, when you have laserlike focus—when you have all thisgoing for you, why would you want to climb on any kind ofemotional roller coaster of expectations?

Crucial Conversation

If we take control of our stories, they won’t control us.
* Winning. This particular dialogue killer sits at the top of many of our lists
* Punishing. Sometimes, as our anger increases, we move from wanting to win the point to wanting to harm the other person.
* Sometimes we choose personal safety over dialogue.
* First, clarify what you really want.
* Second, clarify what you really don’t want

* You know what? We need to talk about this. I’m glad you asked the question. Thank you for taking that risk. I appreciate the trust it shows in me.