- Have your own calculation ?
- Dont show “Neediness “ .
- Slow down … To be in control during negotiation..
- Don’t worry about Rejection . Rejection is a cause for neediness. It also means trying to be likeable. But also There cannot be any rejection; rejection means your adversary need something from you. If they do not need , then how can there be a rejection.
- In Labor Management Dispute – Find a union member who has a big ego , and wants to be liked . Use it ..
- It all because team gets killed when the chief negotiator has the neediness to be known as smart, to be liked, to feel important, and urge them to compromise.
- Wanting is fine, Needing is not.
- You do not need to close ; Your adversary needs to.
- In Japan, It is said that make decision through stomach; Not head nor Heart — But with Stomach.
- Forget “Yes” and Forget “Maybe” –
- Make them Say No.
- Negotiation means that Both parties have right to veto . Which is to be the case. And then it would be the idea.
- How will they like me; or How they will perceive my company ?
- Never, “Save the Adversary” or “Save the Relationship”.
- Un – “Qualified” adversary.
- Respect, Not Friendship, What you want ?
- More important then Friendship is “Effectiveness” and “Respect”.
- Why would you want to load down a business relationshipwith a lot of emotional baggage, including guilt, which can bethe by-product of “friendship”? It doesn’t work. It doesn’t pay.
- “Lieutenant Camp, you sure make some bad decisions in this air-plane, but don’t worry. As long as you at least do make decisions,we can fix the bad ones.”
- Understand the power of “No”.
- If you do not accept No, you are going to burn too many bridges
- No is not rejection; but a honest decision that can be discussed and reversed.
- No will bring you respect
- How to build “No” ?
- It needs a valid “Mission” and “Purpose”.
- Its an Airtight guide to effective decision making.
- Typical Conversation
- “Why take this deal?”
- “The whole thing sounds too good.””Maybe I can win even more.”
- “Why are they making this so easy?””What do they know that I don’t know?””This can’t be right.”
- “How can I get out of this?”
- If your negotiation serves a valid missionand purpose, you don’t have to worry about whether you getevery last dollar or concession out of the deal, or whether you
- gave enough dollars and concessions. You don’t worry about thelong-term relationship. You are not responsible for the otherparty’s decisions. You don’t care whether this contract is win-win, win-lose, lose-win, or lose-lose. Such scorekeeping is sud-denly seen for what it is: arbitrary, empty, meaningless. You don’thave to worry about it anymore, and this freedom will liberateyou in a negotiation, believe me.
- If you’re not working on be-half of your own mission and purpose, you’re working on behalfof someone else’s.
- Problem is not to have an “I-Centered” mission
- The essential problem is that they are I-centered. They are set in the world ofthe individual building the mission and purpose.
- Money for money’s sake does corrupt; power for power’s sake does corrupt.
- Another problem with concentrating on money and power asa mission and purpose is that you’re scorekeeping, and score-keeping means you’re thinking about results over which you have no real control.
- W i n -ning isn’t everything, but the will to prepare to win is everything.”
- Having Valid M&P ?
- It must be set in the “Adversary World” ?
- You do not go anywhere without an adversary
- Likewise, the mission and purpose of the booking agent for the dance company in the negotiation with the program director was not to secure another week of touring for the company and increase its earnings. It was not to secure a commission for the booking agent and in-crease her earnings. It was to get this director to see and decide that presenting this particular dance company would bring cultural richness to her organization’s audiences and community,and to help the program director fulfill her organization’s ownmission and purpose.
- This is the day and age of teamwork in business, and the teammust have its own mission and purpose that is..
- In his excellent book Management: Tasks, Responsibilities, and Prac-tices, Peter Drucker dedicates many pages to the issue of under-standing what it is you really do—your mission and purpose. Hewrites, “Your business is never apparent. It requires in-depthquestioning that gives you a process that provides constant refo-cusing of what you do.” You must continuously analyze and ask yourself: What is my business? What is my mission? What is my purpose?
- My clients do not set sales targets, quotas, num-bers, percentages. Never. Instead, they set goals they can control…..
- Negotiation never ends.
- In a negotiation, nurturing will keep the negotiation going through thick and thin. Your ability to nurture will be the key tobringing the negotiation back to the table after a breakdown.Your ability to nurture your adversary, to put him or her at ease,is the key to assuring her that you are listening and that you valuewhat she has to say. Nurturing is also just another way to allowyour adversary to feel okay.
- Your job is to get informationfrom the adversary by asking questions, not to provide informa-tion by answering questions.
- Blank State
- For the negotiator, even a positive attitude is dangerous. Yes, it’strue. It can devolve quickly into neediness, into positive expec-tations. When I teach blank slate, I mean blank slate. And it’shard.
- Neither positive nor negative expectations have a place in mysystem. You blank slate and you negotiate, that’s all. When youhave a mission and purpose in place, when you have behavioralgoals in place, when you’ve established your plan to solve the realproblem, when you have laserlike focus—when you have all thisgoing for you, why would you want to climb on any kind ofemotional roller coaster of expectations?
Change the way you persuade
1. How you deliver the information , not the content of the information.
2. Five decision making categories
Harnessing the Science of Persuasion
1. The principle of Liking
2. The principle of Scarcity
3. Principle of Reciprocity
4. The principle of Social Proof
5. Principle of Consistency
Power of Talk :- Who gets heard and Why ?
The CEO of a major corporation told me that he often has to make decisions in five minutes about matters on which others may have worked five months. He said he uses this rule: If the person making the proposal seems confident, the CEO approves it. If not, he says no.
The Necessary Art of Persuasion
Four ways not to persuade
1. They attempt to make their case with an up-front, hard sell.
1. “It’s far better to present your position with the finesse and reserve of a lion tamer, who engages his “partner” by showing him the legs of a chair. In other words, effective persuaders don’t begin the process by giving their colleagues a clear target in which to set their jaws.”
2. They resist compromise.
3. They think the secret of persuasion lies in presenting great arguments.
4. They assume persuasion is a one-shot effort :- Persuasion is a process, not an event.
Effective persuaders seem to share a common trait: they are open-minded, never dogmatic.
Effective persuasion involves four distinct and essential steps.
1. First, effective persuaders establish credibility.
2. Second, they frame their goals in a way that identifies common ground with those they intend to persuade.
3. Third, they reinforce their positions using vivid language and compelling evidence.
4. And fourth, they connect emotionally with their audience. As one of the most effective executives in our research commented
There was no building up of the characters. Who was this health worker in Zambia? And what was her world like? What did it feel like to be in the exotic environment of Zambia, facing the problems she faced?
unintelligible to an outsider, is both informative and interesting to its intended audience.
How to Pitch a Brilliant Idea
the four negative stereotypes that are guaranteed to kill a pitch.
The used-car salesman
The charity case is needy
The three types of successful pitchers have their own techniques for doing this
Pitcher: Remember Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood?
Catcher: Oh, yeah. One of my all-time favorites as a kid.
Pitcher: Yes, it was classic. Then, of course, came Costner’s version.
Catcher: That was much darker. And it didn’t evoke as much passion as the original.
Pitcher: But the special effects were great.
Catcher: Yes, they were.
Pitcher: That’s the twist I want to include in this new series.
Catcher: Special effects?
Pitcher: We’re talking a science fiction version of Robin Hood. Robin has a sorcerer in his band of merry men who can conjure up all kinds of scary and wonderful spells.
Catcher: I love it!
The pitcher sets up his opportunity by leading the catcher through a series of shared memories and viewpoints.
Neophytes are the opposite of showrunners. Instead of displaying their expertise, they plead ignorance. Neophytes score points for daring to do the impossible, something catchers see as refreshing
Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations
Fight Tactics, Not People
The best way to neutralize a tactic is to name it.
- Libertarian Paternalism
- Choice Architects
- Home Economicus
- people have a strong tendency to go along with the status quo or default option.
- First, never underestimate the power of inertia. Second, that power can be harnessed.
- The effects of well-chosen default options provide just one illustration of the gentle power of nudges.
- The iPod and the iPhone are good examples because not only are they elegantly styled, but it is also easy for the user to get the devices to do what they want.
- Knowing something about the cognitive system has allowed others to discover systematic biases in the
way we think.
- three heuristics, or rules of thumb—anchoring, availability, and representativeness
- Defaults: Padding the Path of Least Resistance
Framesare mental structures that shape the way we see the world and put
relationships in context.
powerful thing about frames? There can be only one dominant frame
during any interaction between two people.
relies on facts, figures, and logic.
I had a better frame prepared, the moral authority frame, and it’s an
social pressure and discomfort you suffer, you must stay composed and
stick to your frame. This is called plowing —— Always moving forward. Never
stopping. Never any self-doubt.
the other person, that person owns the frame. When the other person is
reacting to what you do and say, you own the frame.
calculations, statistics, and any sort of geometry are called cold
cognitions. Nothing will freeze your pitch faster than allowing your
audience to grind numbers or study details during the pitch
million. These and other facts you can verify later, but right now, what
we need to focus on is this: Are we a good fit? Should we be doing
business together? This is what I came here to work on.”
right for me; (2) if I decide to work with you, the numbers will back up
what I’m telling you, so let’s not worry about that now; and (3) I care
about who I work with.
he becomes the prize.
When your targetis trying to win your attention and respect, you are
the prize. (This, of course, is what you want.)
2. We want what we cannot have.
3. We only place value on things that are difficult to obtain.
value things that are hard to get, you are not hard to get. There’s no
challenge. Behaving this way means that you are failing to prize.
2. Explain the budget and secret sauce: 10 minutes.
3. Offer the deal: 2 minutes.
4. Stack frames for a hot cognition: 3 minutes.
trends. Identify important developments—both in your market
2. Talk about the impact of these developments on costs and custom
3. Explain how these trends have briefly opened a market window.
audience members two possible states and hope that the difference
captures their attention.You need to show them the movement from one
to the other.
but this is the new way.” That can trigger change blindness, where the
target won’t get your deal at all
salesperson saying, “Hey, how would you like the Model T100? We’ve
had 50 of them in the warehouse forever.”
Who are dissatstifed with [the current offerings in the market].
My idea/product is a [new idea or product category]
That provides [key problem/solution features].
Unlike [the competing product].
My idea/product is [describe key features].”
lot or a little, but instead how good your theory of mind is. In other
words, it’s important how well you can tune your information to the
other person’s mind.
Realization 2:All the important stuff must fit into the audience’s
limits of attention, which for most people is about 20 minutes.
- Hot cognition 1:the intrigue frame.
- Hot cognition 2:the prize frame.
- Hot cognition 3:the time frame.
- Hot cognition 4:the moral authority frame.
I’m going to introduce you to our senior trader, John Kincaid,” the seller
told me. “He’s a wildman, just like you. It’s going to be a total love
connection, and he’ll get you into the big deals that don’t come to my
This was hot cognition 1—intrigue. I wanted to meet the senior trader
and get introduced to these bigger deals.
The bank trader continued: “You know the market is on fire right now,
and I have the French, English, and South Africans begging me for this
package, but if you work hard and don’t play any funny retrade games,
you can earn your way in.” It was true, the market was hot, and those
were all players.
This was hot cognition 2—prizing. Although I was the buyer, he was
asking me to prove myself. I wanted to impress him so that I could earn
my way into the deal.
He continued: “I’d love to give you until next week, but this market is
not letting me, and you have to make up your mind by Friday.” He said,
“I’m totally okay with a ‘No’; there’s no pressure. But Friday is D-day.”
This was hot cognition 3—time frame. He gave me just enough time
that I felt I had free will. This wasn’t time pressure, just a reasonable
time constraint. In the end, the decision was mine to make.
He continued: “And I don’t need to tell you, we’ve done $150 billion in
trades this year without a single SEC [Securities and Exchange
Commission] sanction; right now we’re very particular about our
reputation and counterparties. We do things right over here, so no games,
no missing wire numbers, just clean paper. We give you a fair price, and
that’s the deal. Can you play by the rules?”
This was hot cognition 4—moral authority. I assured him that even
though my company was small, just a $250 million blip on the outskirts
of San Diego, I knew the rules and could do things right.
* Punishing. Sometimes, as our anger increases, we move from wanting to win the point to wanting to harm the other person.
* Sometimes we choose personal safety over dialogue.
* FIRST, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
* First, clarify what you really want.
* Second, clarify what you really don’t want
* You know what? We need to talk about this. I’m glad you asked the question. Thank you for taking that risk. I appreciate the trust it shows in me.