Situation – Ego – Whole

Trust is the outcome of deep meditation. Fate is the outcome of your failures, and a mind consolation. They are totally different.Osho,Why do I like so much to criticize people and complain against life?Everybody likes it. To criticize people, to complain against people, gives you a good feeling. Criticizing others, you feel you are higher; complaining about others, you feel you are better. It is very ego fulfilling. And I am saying almost everybody does it. A few people do it out loud, a few people do it just within themselves, but the enjoyment is the same

.Only rarely are there people who don’t criticize, who don’t complain; those are the people who have dropped their egos. Then there is no point, why should you bother about it? It is none of your business; it no longer pays you. The ego was helped, nourished.

Hence my emphasis is: drop the ego. With the dropping of the ego, you will find almost a whole world disappearing. The whole world that was knit around the ego falls away completely, and you start seeing people in a new light. Perhaps the same person that you might have criticized in the same situation, instead of criticizing him you feel a great compassion for him, a great love, a deep desire to help. The same person and the same situation you would have complained against, now your eyes are different and you see things differently, perhaps you will see that in his place in this situation you would have behaved in the same way; there is nothing to complain about.Your outlook will become more human, more friendly: a deep acceptance of people as they are.You know only some part of them; you don’t know their whole life. And it is not good to decide from a small fragment about the whole person. That small fragment may be absolutely fitting and right in the whole context. But the situation is this: it is very easy to criticize. It does not need much intelligence.I have often told a story of Turgenev’s, The Fool. In a village, a young man is very disturbed because the whole village thinks he is an idiot. A wise man is passing through the village and the young man goes to him and says, “Help me! For twenty-four hours a day I am criticized; whatever I do I am criticized. If I don’t do anything I am criticized. If I speak I am criticized, if I don’t speak I am criticized. I don’t know any way out.”

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Play – Love – Fight

Even through cocks our egos fight. We use everything for the ego; even games become adulterated by it. Then you are not interested in the game, you are only interested in how to win it – that is the difference between play and a game. In play you are interested in the play itself – children’s play. Then play is beautiful, and if your whole life can become a play it will become a beautiful thing. In a game you are not interested in the play itself, you are interested in the end result. You are interested in how to win, and when you are interested in how to win, you have destroyed the game. Now it is no longer play, it has become a business.
From the very first, remember that this man, Chi Hsing, had one type of interest in training the cock, and the king had another: he was interested in combat, and the trainer was interested in something else.
Chi Hsing was training a fine bird.
The king kept asking if the bird was ready for combat.
“Not yet,” said the trainer, “He is full of fire.”
Look.the king would have said: “If he is full of fire, that is what we need, because when you fight with somebody and you are full of fire there is more possibility of winning.” The king must have been puzzled. What type of trainer is this man? He says, “Not yet, because he is still full of fire.”
“He is ready to pick a fight with every other bird.”
He is constantly ready to fight – that means he is afraid, so he is not ready. When you are afraid, how can you be ready to fight? Look at the different minds: the logic of the mind will say that if you are full of fire and ready to fight with everybody, then you can become a great warrior – you are already. Why are you waiting? What are you waiting for? If the fire is ready, fight! Because if you wait too long the fire may go; if you wait too long the energy may subside.
But with a no-mind it is absolutely different, the gestalt is different. The man of no-mind says: “Because he is still ready to fight at every moment, he is not yet ready.” Why? Because when you are ready to fight at every moment you are a coward. Fight is a cover-up. You want to prove that you are a brave man. The very wanting, the very desire to prove, means that you are not. A man who is really wise will never in any way be searching for opportunities to prove that he is wise. A fool is always in search of a way to prove that he is wise. A man who is really in love, who has become love, will not try to prove that he is in love.
When you are not in love you try to prove in many, many ways that you are in love. You bring presents, you go on talking about love, but all your efforts say just the opposite. If you really love a person you will not even mention the fact that you love them. What is the need? If the other cannot understand your love without words, the love is not worth anything. If you have to say it, it means that something is false.

Spirit of Service

The Spirit of Service

As I was coming today, I was trying to think of an introduction, and I realized that my voice is sort of gone (as you can probably tell) — we had an orientation meeting over the meeting and I probably talked too much. [laughs] So, I thought of an episode in my life where I was really sick.
A few years back, I was down with 104 degree fever. I mean, I was sitting down on my sofa somewhere and that was it — I was just sitting down since I couldn’t move or do anything else. Everyone in my house happened to be out at that time and I was all by myself, stationed comfortably on the sofa. Usually, I tend not to distract myself with TV, etc. when I am sick, so I was just observing, watching myself. And all of a sudden, my mind shifted into an experience that I had, oh, a couple years before that.
Four of us, including my parents and younger brother, were taking a trip to India and were visiting a religious place of some sort. There were a bunch of temples, street merchants, fakirs and the whole bit. My parents had to buy something quickly so they left us in the car. Right as we were there, this monk appears, as if out of nowhere! And this wasn’t just an ordinary looking monk; he had his own sort of makeup to give him a mystical look — you know, a garland, white-colored powder on his face, alms-bowl in his hands, and so on. To top it all off, though, he had a little golden-colored spider on his right cheek and it was moving!
Being kids whose parents had given instructions about not talking to strangers, my brother and I looked at the monk with surprise, as if to ask, “Who is this guy?” He slowly approaches us and asks, “Can you give me some food or perhaps some money so I can buy the food?” These monks have to beg; that’s how they get their food. Having been instructed by parents, we said, “No, sorry, we can’t give you anything.” He asked a couple times but we responded similarly. But we still chatted for a bit about what town we were from and so on and right when he was about to leave, he says, “Here, put this in your prayers, and you’ll get what you want.”  Of course, when my parents heard about this hoky sounding episode, we chucked the packet out the window.
But there I was … sitting on my sofa, with 104 degree temperature, and I’m thinking about this seemingly random episode … and all of a sudden, I started crying.  It wasn’t just crying; I was gushing as if there was no tomorrow. And I said to myself, “Why was I holding back?” And I said, “What do I have that I don’t want to give to the guy? Here is a person, a monk, who is in the search of truth. And I had three rupees. Why didn’t I give it to him?” I just had this feeling, as if he is my brother and I could give him everything. “Here, I’ll give you myself. What else can I give you?” And I was replaying this whole episode in my mind. And I said, “Here it is. Everything you want, take it. You know what? Let’s call all the monks in the neighborhood, and let’s have a big party at the restaurant next door.” There was this overwhelming feeling of giving. There is no way that any description can do it justice.
It’s like smelling an orange. I always use that metaphor. You smell an orange and you know exactly what an orange smells like. Yet if I ask you, “Tell your neighbor what an orange smells like,” you can’t do it. I mean you can say, “Well, it looks like a lemon,” and you can make all sorts of metaphors, but you can’t describe an orange, even when you know exactly what it is. Similarly with this. I know exactly what it is, but I can’t describe it. I’m not even going to attempt to describe it. But it’s there. And it’s something for which you can’t say, “Oh, well, it’s sorta there, sorta not there.” It’s definitely there. You know when you’ve smelled the orange.
A bunch of us run a non-profit, ServiceSpace, and we empower other non-profits with websites. It’s fully volunteer run and we do everything for free, so there’s a lot of work. Many times, I’ll be working at 1:00 a.m. I’m doing work, and all of a sudden, OK, 1:00 a.m. I’m tired and I could really use some sleep. So I’m thinking, all right, I want to go to sleep. Then I tell myself, you know, it’s really easy to give leftovers. You take care of yourself, you take care of your surroundings, and you take care of all of your comforts, and after that comfort you say, “OK, I have everything I need,” and then you give something. That’s good — it’s not bad but it’s still giving leftovers, right? You’re not giving of yourself.
I was telling myself, “Here is your opportunity to give of yourself. You’re here. Your body wants this. These are very selfish desires — if you really want to give yourself, this is the time. Do it. This is not leftovers, because I could be sleeping, I could be comforting myself.” The choices I had were either breakdown or breakthrough. And I say, “All right, that’s it. I’m going to buckle down and do it.” So I do it, I do it, and I go to 2:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m. … I would’ve otherwise thought that I’d be tired but no! I’m feeling like Rocky, you know, 12th round, he’s fighting all over the place, and there I am, after 12 rounds, there’s something – it’s intangible. It’s something that’s not there, yet it’s there. You can’t describe it, yet it’s there. It’s that whole concept of the orange metaphor. You smell the orange but you can’t describe it.
So my talk was titled “Spirit of Service” and I just said that you can’t describe the spirit of service, so what am I going to talk about for the next 40 minutes? [laughs] What I’m going to talk about is not the spirit of service, because you can’t describe that, but what I am going to say is why are we not in the spirit of service. Why are we not in the spirit of service in this very moment? Right now. That is the question before us.
So why am I not serving others at this very instance? In other words, why am I selfish right now? I can really answer that because I have so many selfish moments and I know exactly what it is because I experience it. Take a general example: Many times I go in to work on holidays because I have to do some extra work to catch up. So one particular three-day weekend, I was at work and all of a sudden it dawned upon me that I was the only one at work. I’m here at work, and I’m saying, “What are you doing? You’re doing all this stuff, and you’re not getting anything in return. Why are you doing this? Are you just obsessed? Is there something wrong with you? Do you really want to be doing this? You could be out there hanging out with your friends. You could be out doing so many other things. You could watch a movie, you could do something fun, or you could even do nothing! Whatever you want.” But I wasn’t doing any of this. I was at work doing all this other stuff, and I realized that it was hard. I watched myself and asked, “Why is it hard?”
Why is it so hard to give? What I came up with is that you always want something in return. You want something in return for everything you do. And when you don’t get that something in return, then it hits you. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is not such a good thing. And that’s hard. Even when you try to do a selfless action–by the very definition, when you’re trying to do a selfless action, it’s not selfless because there’s effort. But there’s a certain percentage of action which is selfless. Let’s say even just 10 percent. So when you do a selfless action, you realize this dichotomy between selfish and selfless. It’s very clear. It’s in front of you. It’s staring at you. You say, “Oh, yeah, OK, I can either do something which is selfish or on the other hand, do something which is selfless.” These are two different things. And they’re right there in front of you. This dichotomy is very clear. Whether it’s just a smile or something really extravagant, a selfless action feels distinctively different from a selfish one.
So the question still is why is it so hard? And why do I always want to go after these outcomes? Why am I not content just staying here doing the things I’m doing – why do I want something in return and why do I always want to pursue something? Can I give up this pursuit? Because there are so many negative effects of it. You can see it in your daily life – when you want all these ends, you lose the beauty of the moment. Let’s say you want fifty ends to happen in one particular “right” way, then all of a sudden the ten steps to each one of those ends start cluttering up your life, because then you’re very busy and oh, very stressed. “I have so many things to do, such little time.”
About nine months ago I was in the back room actually, talking to Ajahn Amaro and Reverend Heng Sure, and this lady comes in. Naturally, we move our attention to her and ask how she’s doing. The lady doctor says, “Oh God. So busy. So many things. Oh, man, this is a really stressful time in my life.” Perhaps just out of courtesy, she asks Ajahn Amaro, “So how are you doing? How is your life? You seem to be doing a lot of things.” He said, “I’m active, not busy.” That really struck me. He had the same amount of things, but he didn’t care about the end. He was right there, right then, and there were hundreds of those moments, and there were hundreds of those things to do. And he was doing them. So he was active, he was not busy. That really struck me.
So why do people get busy? We know that you get busy and then you get stressed, and these are all negative things, so why do we do it? And why do we care so much for the outcome? Now, if you ask this question to a layman on the street, he will usually say, “Well, if you don’t do it for the outcome, there’s no progress.” Well, OK. Is that really so? The layman typically would say, “Yeah. You wouldn’t be motivated to do anything. Why would you care to do? Technology — great. Why build websites? Just let them be. I don’t need to do anything.” That’s the typical response, but is that really so?
Is that really true, that if we had no conflict of interest, we would not do 100 percent? If my mom, for instance, comes in in the middle of the night and she says, 2:00 o’clock, “Nipun, wake up, wake up. I know you do ServiceSpace work at this time, and today you didn’t do your dishes, so go downstairs and do the dishes.” If my mom told me that and let’s say I even went down, I’d say “It’s all living in the moment. OK, live with what you got and just enjoy doing the dishes in the middle of the night.” [laughs] That’s not gonna happen … I’m not going to be living in the moment. I’m going to be thinking, “I need to go to my bed. Now.” So, I do my job haphazardly, by saying, “Let me just get this done so I can go and sleep in that nice comfortable bed that I have!”
So I had this conflict of interest, so that’s why I did this. Now, what if I didn’t have a conflict of interest? What reason would I have not to put in 110 percent in everything I do, wherever I go, whatever I do. I’m here and now, and that’s it. This is the only reality. Right? It doesn’t matter what car you drove in, because that doesn’t have anything to do with this moment. This is the only reality. The past is gone. The future is a fantasy. None of it’s there. This is it right here, right now. So why am I not able to enjoy the journey right? Why am I am not able to fully live in each moment?
Many of you might have heard that story about Thich Nhat Hanh; he has his monastery called Plum Village in France. One time when he was a young student, his teacher called him in to talk to him. When they were done, he walks out and as he was leaving, he leaves the door half-open, in his rush to go out. So his teacher calls him in and says, “Why didn’t you close the door? I asked you to close the door when you left.” And all of a sudden it hit him that when he was closing the door, he was not closing the door. He wanted to get to some other place and that is why he was not fully there. To this day, he hasn’t forgotten that lesson. In fact, even to this day, people go to France just to watch him open and close the door, because he does it so completely. For him, the door is it. He is there. All his life comes down to that one point, when he’s closing and opening that door. He is just closing and opening that door. That is it. He has that detachment with outcome which lets him fully experience the present.
But then everyone can ask all sorts of cynical questions about it, right? Well, if you don’t care for the outcomes, how can you really get anywhere? What if you had a business and you did all this? How are you going to get anywhere? You’re not going to do anything. And that’s a legitimate response. But I’ve experienced quite to the contrary with ServiceSpace. We have nowhere to go, we have no end to pursue. We’re all volunteers and we just want to give. ServiceSpace is simply our instrument of giving. But all of a sudden we realize that when we just care to enjoy the journey, when we’re just doing what is in front of us, then that is it. We don’t care what happens at the end. All we’re living is the present moment and you end up doing 110 percent. In just nine, ten months we’ve done amazing things! Three hundred and fifty volunteers, two hundred non-profits served. All sorts of things. But how can you do this when you don’t care for the end? [laughs]
So my question is how can you not? When you don’t care for the end, you’re doing 110 percent, and that is the only time when you can do something really worthwhile. But this is still hard. Right? Everyone can rationally say all these things. Yeah, well, don’t worry about the end. This is not about the end, just enjoy the journey. But it’s hard to do. We all want to go out and get results.
I can remember an episode where a particular volunteer team was helping a nonprofit in making a website. The nonprofit representative was very demanding but the volunteer continued to serve to the best of their abilities. The lady at the nonprofit thought that her cause was it and had all sorts of complications. But the team worked hard and finally finished the project.Then, all of a sudden [sound] after the project was over, the very next day, she chucked the site. She threw everything away!
Now, these guys, if they were truly enjoying the journey, they’d simply say, “Oh, OK, I guess our services weren’t useful,” because they’ve already gotten their reward. The reward was in the journey. But if they hadn’t done that, if they said, “Yeah, I want that end. I want that particular thing to happen. I want them to benefit in this way. I want to give this type of good – I want them to have these sorts of results in the end.” If you had all those expectations, then all of a sudden, oh, yeah, it’s very stressful and it’ll hit you for five, ten days as you try to figure out what’s wrong with the lady. So this detachment has a lot of practical benefits. The detachment – it’s not so much detachment – is more about fully living. That full living has a lot of benefits. First of all, you won’t have all this stresses and worries. You’re just living, just sort of floating through the water like a little log of wood in the sea — rising up with the wave and coming down with the ebbs. You’re just going through wherever it takes you. There’s something magical about that.
So then we still have this question. Why is all this hard? Why is this very hard? Everyone can say all this stuff rationally, right? But it’s very hard to implement it into our everyday actions. I asked myself the same question when I was younger [laughs]. I said, “Yeah, OK. I’ve read all these philosophy books. I’ve read all these scriptures and beliefs and dogmas. And I have everything inside of me.” If someone asked me, “Yeah, why are we this?”, I would sort of vomit all the stuff. “Oh, yeah, I know all the answers here. This is what the scripture says and this is what this person say and … you floss ten times a day and do this and do that and you won’t be selfish anymore.” I was vomiting this information – it was a very rational understanding of it. I said, “Oh, yeah, this is what the book says, so this must be it.” So I’d tell myself, “Yeah, I know all this stuff.” But, in reality, a rational level understanding is nothing. Everyone knows that anger, fear, depression, jealousy, and all such things are all very negative things. Everyone knows that rationally. No doctor’s going to come in and tell me, “OK, Nipun, you’re a little too pumped-up. Make sure you get angry three times tomorrow.” No one’s going to say that. There are no good benefits of anger, and there are no benefits of all these negativities. But you still have these negativities, right? Even when we understand that rationally it’s no good, but when it comes down to putting it in practice, this is just another thing. It’s very hard. So what to do about it?
What we understand at a rational level is very limited. I can tell you all this stuff and you can listen to everything. But it’s very limited. You need some sort of an experiential understanding, something where you realize what is wrong. It’s as if you hit your head against the wall and you know — ok, that hurts and I’m not going to do that again. In the same way we need an experiential understanding about this.
That means we need to understand the selfishness that’s in us. Right? Consider this moment right now. We’re acting. Every moment is of action, right? If we’re selfish, maybe we’re selfish right now too. So I’m talking, you’re listening. Let’s take my example. I’m talking. Now, before a talk, if you get nervous, what does that mean? That means you have an image in your head, and when you give a talk, you’re worried about protecting, preserving, and projecting that image. You want to make sure everyone thinks of you in the same way that you think of yourself. You want to make sure that everyone gets some ideas that they have of you. And you’re not sure that that will happen. That uncertainty creates this tension and nervousness. And it’s a very self-centered issue. You might’ve heard this story about Gandhi … he was traveling to address the whole nation of India and on his way to make the speech, an English gentleman stops him and asks, “Mr. Gandhi, what are you going to speak of today?” I can’t do an English accent, but [laughs] I try. “What are you going to speak of today?” was the question. Do you know what Gandhi’s response was? He says, “I don’t know. I’m not there yet.” He was five minutes from the talk. He didn’t know because he wasn’t there. His experience of reality was very spontaneous. It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t some things which go in a certain order. He was just saying things as they were, as they manifested themselves in this present moment.
So that was about talking. Now, let’s take listening — all of you are listening. So what does listening imply? I’m saying all these things, but you’re not listening to a word of what I’m saying! You’re hearing these sound waves that I’m emitting but you’re not listening to any of it. To your processing system these are sounds like blaup blap blaa. It’s like that, right? Now, you take those sounds and you process it and translate it and that’s what it means to you. You’re only listening to your own selves! You’re hearing what I’m saying, but you’re only listening to your own self. If I said blaup blap blaa — what does that mean? If I forced everybody to come up with an answer, everyone would come up with different responses. It’s the same sound waves. You heard the same sound waves, but its translation is very different for everyone. So I’m saying all these things, but they mean something totally different to every individual in this room.
So we’re back to our original question, right? We said why are we selfish? We really have to look at that question really deeply to understand it, not just come up with rational jargon. Why are we selfish? You can just ask somebody, “Hey, why do you go rock climbing?” “Well, it’s fun. I just kinda like it.” “Why do you like to read?” “Well, I just sorta kinda like.” Why do you go to the movies? Why do you do drugs? Why do you draw? Why do you play music? Why do you do so many things? Right? Why do you all these things? You can ask, they will all say, “Well, I just sorta like it.” If you really break it down, initially they’re fun, but why are they fun? Why do we do all these things? We do them for that inner kick. We do everything for that inner kick.
Everything in our life comes down to that inner kick. “Oh, I like this ’cause it gives me this kick, and I don’t like this because it does not give me that kick.” Right? So all of a sudden now we start to have this good and bad, based on that kick that we get from these things. All our moods are in the same way — I’m in a good mood if I get this inner kick from things and if I don’t get it for a while, I’m in a bad mood. Or if someone gives me a negative kick, I’m in a bad mood. So all our lives, we become puppets to this inner kick. Everything we do is a reaction to all these things that are happening to us.
So this kick – why do we have this kick? I had a meeting with a CEO of a company that processes online donations last week (we were trying to build an alliance with them to help nonprofits) and he told me a very interesting thing. He says, “You have this pledge line where the donor has to check ten dollar line, twenty, thirty, fifty and then a blank line for any other amount. You know what we found in our research? People give the lowest amount.” So if you say 25 as the lowest one, people will pick that one. “You know why? This is the feel-good principle,” he told me. “Feel good principle? Oh?” He said, “People give that minimum amount so that they can feel good.” So he says, “It’s never a good idea to put that. Just have a little box, open-ended, so it’s up to them to decide, because otherwise they’re going to pick the lowest one.” That somehow made sense to me too. Even with giving – a lot of people – you can give for that inner kick. Oh, yeah, let me give $100,000 to something. OK, now I feel really good. My life is worth it, and all this, other stuff that I’ve collected and done, it’s all OK because I do this. Or if you don’t have money, you go out and help the homeless. Yeah, I’m going to go out and help the homeless. Oh, that’s really cool. Yeah, you know, I can go to bed today without any guilt feeling. So you go out and do this for that inner kick. You don’t have to do it for that inner kick, but a lot of times we tend to do it for that inner kick. Even giving? So what’s going on here?
There’s another cool story actually. There’s lots of cool stories. But this is a story about a monkey and a fish. A monkey is watching a river and notice a fish flowing down in the stream. Suddenly, the the monkey says, “Oh, I feel really compassionate. I think I need to go and help someone.” So he decides to help the fish and says, “All right, this fish looks like it is really struggling. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to help the fish.” The monkey picks up the fish and bring it to land. [laughs] Fish dies. A lot of times we think, oh, we can help, and we can do all these things – but who are you to help? You don’t even know who you are. How are you going to help? You don’t necessarily know.
And there’s no question of ego. When you do all these things, the ego doesn’t arise because you’re thankful for the opportunities that come to you. If the fish comes and says, “Hey, monkey. Hey, can you hear me? Can you throw me some food?” So then the monkey doesn’t say, “Oh, yeah, I’m going to help this fish.” The monkey instead says, “Oh, thank you for giving me this opportunity to serve, because I’m already lost, and you’re giving me this opportunity to serve.” That’s something great, right? For instance, with ServiceSpace, the word has spread all over the nation that we’re doing free stuff.  This is tens of thousands of dollars worth of services, so we get a lot of requests. It’s definitely a lot of work. But the perspective is this: Oh, thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve. You’re serving because you got that opportunity. You got that chance to purify yourself, to see what’s going on, to see that dichotomy between selfishness and selflessness.
One of the other things we see when we see this dichotomy is the goggles. The goggles factor – I think that’s what I’m going to call it – we have goggles every time we see people, we do things, we interpret ideas, we listen to talks, and we hear all these things. We have put on our goggles. We filter everything through our own biases and make judgments based on those. Now, if I don’t know what those goggles are – even more basic than that, if I have green goggles on and I look at the sky, and the guy next to me says, “Hey, you know what? The sky’s blue.” I’m gonna say “No, I see it. The sky is green. It looks green to me. You can’t tell me otherwise.” The first guy says, “No, you got goggles on. You don’t understand. You’re not looking at it right.” I’ll still say, “No. The sky is green. I know it. That’s how it is. That’s how I see it. It can’t be another way because I see it that way.” But, of course, you’re in this illusion. You have these goggles on and you can’t see. You can’t see right.
So then how do you become aware of these goggles. That’s the next question, right? How do you become aware of those goggles? A very simple question with a simple answer: it’s observation. You just observe and you’ll see it. You say, “Oh, OK, things are great.” You watch. And this tool of observation is very powerful.
At every instance – right now, later when you go to your car, before when you were coming here – we’re all acting. Action — we can’t escape action. Action is there; we’re doing all these actions. But instead of going after that inner kick. If we just watch it – if we’re here and we’re now, and we say, “OK, how is this happening?” I’m dumping all these sound waves on you, and every one of you hearing these waves and interpreting it. But as soon as you become aware of it, it means something entirely different.
Then the whole cycle stops, right? Then we’ve realized that, oh yeah, I – you know, I’m hitting my head against the wall. I make up these desires and then I have cravings for them. Then I build up attachments. When I have these attachments and cravings, I have expectations. And when those expectations aren’t met, I generate negativity. I feel depressed. I feel this, and I feel that. Right? So why do we do all this? I mean that’s the real question. And it’s simple – when you see it in front of you, you say, “Yeah, hey, I shouldn’t be doing any of this. It doesn’t make any sense.” You say, “OK, I’ll stop then,” because it’s no longer a rational understanding. It’s no longer someone telling you rationally that, oh yeah, well, anger’s all bad because this book says so. You see it yourself. You’re banging your head against the wall, and it hurts. You’re banging your head against the wall, it hurts. You bang it again, and it hurts. You bang it again, and it hurts. This is how it is. As soon as you see that, you say, “OK, I’m not going to bang my head against the wall because if I do, I’ll be hurting.” So that choice is up to you, right?
Now, right now, you know, as I already said, I’m dumping all these sound waves on you. Let’s say I’m telling you something and you get really inspired, or you’re listening to another talk and you get really inspired. And you’re all pumped-up. I’m going to go and observe myself for the next 18 hours. I’m going to do something about this. And I’m going to do this and I’m going to do that. OK, so that’s great. You do all that. And what happens the next day? Nothing. You don’t have that inspiration so you go out hunting for those sound waves again. And, you know, if you’ve seen a movie that inspires you, you can’t see it 20 times and have the same effect. The first time it’s just something – so you look for different variations. You’re always hunting, hunting, hunting, and it just never ends. And then there’s money. People always criticize others chasing money. But you can start chasing inspiration. You can have this spiritual currency. Oh, well, I want tobe in this state. I want to feel this way. I want to feel this. I want to have this and that. And it’s all the same thing. Right? You’re just hunting.
How many people ever say, “I have arrived. This is a moment I’ve been waiting for all my life,” or “This is a moment that’s a culmination of all my life, all my experiences and this is it. I am here.” This Berkeley Buddhist monastery isn’t a pit stop from doing x, y, z — coming here and then going and doing something else. This is it. You have arrived. This is all there is to it. You have arrived. There’s nowhere to go. But this is all hard to do, right?
You have to have that sense of observation. And that observation – as soon as you start to observe this process, as soon as you observe selfishness, it disappears because there’s no solid foundation holding it down. So you watch it and you say, “OK, that’s just stupid. I’m not going to do it anymore.” As soon as you do that, that is the start of inspiration. It’s not dependent on anything I’m saying. It’s not dependent on anything you saw. It’s nothing external. It’s nothing related to any of these things. It’s internal. You are there. You are living that inspiration. Wherever you go, wherever you are, whether you’re in a car, you know, or you’re doing ServiceSpace stuff, or you’re doing something else, or you’re shaking hands with a stranger, that inspiration is with you, and it does not go away from you.
It’s not something that’s induced. You know, “Oh, yeah, give me this drug. I’ll feel this way.” It’s there. It’s permanent. It’s solid. That is true inspiration. And that inspiration has nothing to do with going on a hundred-day meditation retreat. Or going to the Himalayas and meditating. Or going this place or that place. There’s nothing wrong with those things; they’re there and they may work for a lot of people, and they may inspire a lot of people in different ways. And that’s fine. But the thing is you can never escape action. Whethere you’re meditating and doing nothing, so to say, or going out or doing all these complex activities, you’re still acting. It’s all action. You can’t escape action. And with each action is an opportunity to learn, to observe, to come out of this process of selfishness. And as soon as you observe, the selfishness drops away, and inspiration starts to take birth. And that inspiration is something very, very simple. It’s something very pure, something very genuine. And that is the spirit of service.
There’s no way I can describe it. The only thing I can do is tell you why I, myself am not in that state. And that’s it. Why am I not? Because I’m selfish. I have that chance for that pure, simple spirit of service in this moment, and that’s all there is to it. That opportunity of inspiration lies in each action and each action can manifest the purest spirit of service. Starting right here, right now.

Software Product Design Notes

  1. Need to design software for handling
    1. INPUT
    2. OUTPUT
    3. REPORT
  2. Aesthetic appeal is an important element of Product Design
  3. What does Red, Blue, Purple, Yellow and other elements convey?
  4. Light Line or Light Boundary; Gives a subtle effect regarding boundaries …….
  5. An Important UI
    1. The number should be entered giving a “,” to know that it is the total..
    2. What if i enter the words when i write “Total” ?
  6. Will miniminalistic and simple interface; Will make my software looks a “very intuitive” ? .
  7. Based on “Hierarchy” – Less is more ? Need to write and define users based on
    1. Major Task
    2. Minor Task
  8. Listing down and enumerating Task list ( Based on Input – Taking total Software into account” – 100 % into consideration.
    1. Site Details – 1
    2. User Details – 1
    3. Material Unit Details – 1
    4. Material Request – 30
    5. Good Receipt Note – 40
    6. Purchase Order – 10
    7. Return to Vendor – 10
    8. Work Items – 5
    9. Sub Contractor Bills – 5
    10. Transporter
    11. Vendor Bills
    12. Vendor Name
    13. Cash Purchase
    14. Consumption
    15. Reporting
  9. Your “Dashboard” should also be a “To Do List”.
    1. Material Request Pending
    2. GRN to Bills – Pending
    3. To do list functionality like “Google Keep”.
  10. Initial Reporting should be a “ticker” like a stock market; And things would “Gamify” from there.
  11. A “Login Screen” set the tone of what is is to come.
  12. Right-Hand side of the Dashboard – Should be a ticker; Showing what is coming…custom or autogenerated reporting.
  13. Points to ponder
    1. Is it necessary to show “Rates” in material request ?
    2. Is it necessary to show “Rates” and “GST” details in GRN ?
  14. Repetition to be “Abhor” ; Also the navigation on the left needs to show “What Place” where we are .  .. “A kind of Compass” ;
  15. With every click , We are opening new page ? Is it good or bad !!!!
  16. Have we put “HSIN Code” default in PO or other !!!!

 

6 liners

  1. Dabbler in much, expert in none.
  2. Once wed, twice loved, past prime.
  3. I lost god. I found myself.
  4. Older now, I draw myself better.
  5. Anything possible—but I was tired.
  6. You are all in my imagination.
  7. I couldn’t protect me from myself.
  8. Married for money. Divorced for love.
  9. My life is a beautiful accident.
  10. I served my debt to society.
  11. My heart is deaf, head dumb.
  12. Wandering imagination opens doors to paradise.
  13. Couldn’t cope so I wrote songs.
  14. Young optimist: proven wrong. Prematurely old.
  15. Take a left turn, then fly.
  16. Memory was my drug of choice.
  17. Boys liked her. She preferred books.
  18. Cursed with cancer. Blessed with friends
  19. Midlife crisis uncovers queer intellectual’s talent.
  20. I’m just here for the beer.
  21. The image was large with silence.
  22. After your jump, the net appears.
  23. Love annihilated a thirty-year age difference.
  24. Even the quietest sounds make noise.
  25. Saw, interpreted, mourned, hoped, then preached.
  26. Saw the world; now where’s home?
  27. Many risky mistakes, very few regrets.
  28. Always working on the next chapter.
  29. Cheated organizational systems but never people.
  30. Was rebellious teen. Now raising one.
  31. My second grade teacher was right.
  32. Revenge is living well, without you.
  33. If there’s more, I want it.
  34. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes I smile.
  35. I inhale battles. I exhale victories.
  36. Working with what God gave me.
  37. Asked for love. Received confusion. Waiting.
  38. I waste time looking for love.
  39. Once was blind. Now I see.
  40. A daydream, or so it seemed.
  41. She danced, and did little else.
  42. When all else fails, start running.
  43. Still here despite logic and likelihood.
  44. Internet famous, for what that’s worth.
  45. Melancholy marvel at how everything connects.
  46. I’m the fine print; read closely.
  47. I fell out of the nest.
  48. I don’t nibble. I bite. Hard.
  49. Occassionally wrong but never in doubt.

Kavita – Hamesha Der kar deta hu main

हमेशा देर कर देता हूँ मैं
ज़रूरी बात कहनी हो
कोई वादा निभाना हो
उसे आवाज़ देनी हो
उसे वापस बुलाना हो
हमेशा देर कर देता हूँ मैं
मदद करनी हो उसकी
यार का धाढ़स बंधाना हो
बहुत देरीना[1] रास्तों पर
किसी से मिलने जाना हो
हमेशा देर कर देता हूँ मैं
बदलते मौसमों की सैर में
दिल को लगाना हो
किसी को याद रखना हो
किसी को भूल जाना हो
हमेशा देर कर देता हूँ मैं
किसी को मौत से पहले
किसी ग़म से बचाना हो
हक़ीक़त और थी कुछ
उस को जा के ये बताना हो
हमेशा देर कर देता हूँ मैं

On Truth and Obligation

That’s what has been happening down the ages. That is the way of autohypnosis. John Lilly is absolutely wrong. “What the mind believes,” he says, “is true….” It is not. It only appears true.
And he says “… or it becomes true.” It never becomes true by being believed, but it starts appearing true. Yes, for the believer it becomes true, although it is not true, because belief begins in ignorance. Belief cannot create truth; truth is already the case.
Remember the first preliminary of Atisha: truth is. You need not believe in it for it to be. Your belief or your disbelief is not going to make any difference to the truth. Truth is truth, whether you believe or you disbelieve.
But if you believe in something it starts appearing as true to you at least. That’s what the meaning of belief is: belief means to believe in something as true – you know that you don’t know, you know that the truth is unknown to you, but in your ignorance you start believing, because belief is cheap.
To discover truth is arduous, it needs a long pilgrimage. It needs a great emptying of the mind, it needs a great cleansing of the heart. It needs a certain innocence, a rebirth: you have to become a child again.
Only very few people have ever dared to discover truth. And it is risky, because it may not console you; it has no obligation to console you. It is risky: it may shatter all that you have known before, and you will have to rearrange your whole life. It is dangerous: it may destroy all your illusions, it may shatter all your dreams. It is really going through fire; it is going to burn you as you are, it is going to kill you as you are. And who knows what will happen later on?
How can the seed know that by dying in the soil it will become a great tree? It will not be there to witness the happening. How can the seed know that one day, if it dies, there will be great foliage, green leaves, great branches, and flowers and fruits? How can the seed know? The seed will not be there. The seed has to disappear before it can happen. The seed has never met the tree. The seed has to disappear and die.
Only very few people have that much courage. It really needs guts to discover truth. You will die as yourself. You will certainly be born, but how can you be convinced of it? What guarantee is there? There is no guarantee.
Hence, unless you are with a master who has died and is reborn, who has crucified himself and is resurrected – unless you come across a man like Christ or Buddha or Atisha – you will not be able to gather enough courage.
Seeing Atisha, something may start stirring in your heart, a chord may be touched, something may be triggered, a synchronicity. The presence of somebody who has arrived may create a great longing in you, may become the birth of an intense passionate search for truth.
Belief cannot give you the truth, it only pretends. It is cheap, it is a plastic flower. You need not take all the trouble of growing a rosebush, you can simply go to the market and purchase plastic flowers – and they are more lasting too, in fact they are almost eternal. Once in a while you can wash them, and they are fresh again. They will not deceive you, but at least they can deceive the neighbors, and that is the point. You will know all along that they are plastic flowers. How can you forget it? You have purchased them! The neighbors may be deceived, but how can you be deceived?
And I don’t think that even the neighbors are deceived, because they have also purchased plastic flowers. They know they are deceiving you, they know you are deceiving them. Everybody is perfectly aware that everybody else is deceiving. “But this is how life is,” people say. Nobody is really deceived. People just pretend to be deceived. You pretend that you have real flowers, others pretend that they are deceived. Just watch, observe, and what I am saying will be experienced by you. It is a simple fact; I am not talking philosophy, just stating facts.
What John Lilly says is utter nonsense. He says, “What the mind believes is true.” It is never true, because belief has nothing to do with truth. You can believe that this is night but just by your believing, this is not going to become night. But you can believe, and you can close your eyes and for you it is night – but only for you, remember, not in truth. You are living in a kind of hallucination.
There is this danger in belief: it makes you feel that you know the truth. And because it makes you feel that you know the truth, this becomes the greatest barrier in the search. Believe or disbelieve and you are blocked – because disbelief is also nothing but belief in a negative form.
The Catholic believes in God, the communist believes in no God: both are believers. Go to Kaaba or go to the Comintern, go to Kailash or to the Kremlin, it is all the same. The believer believes it is so, the nonbeliever believes it is not so. And because both have already settled without taking the trouble to go and discover it, the deeper is their belief, the stronger is their belief, the greater is the barrier. They will never go on a pilgrimage, there is no point. They will live surrounded by their own illusion, self-created, self-sustained; it may be consoling, but it is not liberating. Millions of people are wasting their lives in belief and disbelief.
The inquiry into truth begins only when you drop all believing. You say, “I would like to encounter the truth on my own. I will not believe in Christ and I will not believe in Buddha. I would like to become a christ or a buddha myself, I would like to be a light unto myself.”
Why should one be a Christian? It is ugly. Be a christ if you can be, but don’t be a Christian. Be a buddha if you have any respect for yourself, but don’t be a Buddhist. The Buddhist believes. Buddha knows.
When you can know, when knowing is possible, why settle for believing? But again, the society would like you to believe, because believers are good people, obedient, law-abiding. They follow all formalities and etiquette, they are never trouble-makers. They simply follow the crowd, whichever crowd they happen to be in; they simply go with the crowd. They are not real men, they are sheep. Humanity has not yet arrived.
Somebody once said to George Bernard Shaw, “What do you think about civilization?”
He said, “It is a good idea. Somebody should try it.”
It has not yet been tried. Humanity is still arriving; we are still groping between animality and humanity. We are in limbo: man has to be born, man has to be given birth to; we have to prepare the ground for man to appear.
And the most significant thing that will help that man to come will be if we can drop believing – if we can drop being Christians, Hindus, Mohammedans, Jainas, Buddhists, communists. If you can drop believing, immediately your energy will take a new turn: it will start inquiring. And to inquire is beautiful. Your life will become a pilgrimage to truth, and in that very pilgrimage you grow.
Growth is a by-product of the inquiry into truth. Believers never grow, they remain childish. And remember, to be childlike and to be childish are poles apart, they are not the same thing. It is beautiful to be childlike. The man of trust is childlike and the man of belief is childish. To be childlike is the ultimate in growth; that is the very culmination – consciousness has come to the ultimate peak. To be childlike means to be a sage, and to be childish means to be just un-grownup.
The average mental age of human beings on the earth today is not more than twelve years. When for the first time this was discovered, it was such a shock. Nobody had ever thought about it; it was just by accident that it became known. In the First World War, for the first time in human history, the people who were candidates, who wanted to enter the army, were examined. Their mental age was inquired into, their IQ was determined. This was a great revelation – that they were not more than twelve years; the average age was just twelve years.
This is childishness. The body goes on growing, and the mind has stopped at the age of twelve. What kind of humanity have we created on this earth? Why does the mind stop at twelve? Because by the time one is twelve, one has gathered all kinds of beliefs; one is already a believer, one already “knows” what truth is. One is a Christian, another is a communist; one believes in God, one does not believe in God; one believes in The Bible and the other believes in Das Kapital; one believes in the Bhagavad Gita, another believes in the Red Book of Mao Zedong.
We have drilled concepts and ideologies into the innocent minds of poor children. They are already becoming knowers. Do you know – by the age of seven, a child already knows fifty percent of all that he will ever know. And by the time he is fourteen he has almost arrived; now there is nowhere to go, he has only to vegetate. Now he will exist as a cabbage. If he goes to college then, as they say, he may become a cauliflower. A cabbage with a college education is a cauliflower. But there is not much difference, just labels change. The cabbage becomes an M.A., a Ph.D., this and that, and just to show respect we call it a cauliflower. But the mental age is twelve.
The real man grows to the very end. Even while he is dying, he is growing. Even the last moment of his life will still be an inquiry, a search, a learning. He will still be inquiring – now inquiring into death. He will be fascinated: death is such an unknown phenomenon, such a mystery, far more mysterious than life itself – how can an intelligent man be afraid? If in life he has not been afraid to go into the uncharted and the unknown, at the moment of death he will be thrilled, ecstatic. Now the last moment has come: he will be entering into the darkness, the dark tunnel of death. This is the greatest adventure one can ever go on; he will be learning.
A real man never believes; he learns. A real man never becomes knowledgeable; he always remains open, open to truth. And he always remembers that “It is not that truth has to adjust to me, but just vice versa: I have to adjust to truth.” The believer tries to adjust truth to himself, the seeker adjusts himself to truth. Remember the difference; the difference is tremendous. One who believes, he says, “Truth should be like this, this is my belief.”
Just think of a Christian…. If God appears not like Jesus Christ but like Krishna, not on the cross but with a flute and girlfriends dancing around him, the Christian will close his eyes; he will say, “This is not my cup of tea.” Girlfriends? Can you think of Jesus with girlfriends? The cross and girlfriends can’t go together. Jesus hanging on the cross and girlfriends dancing around? It won’t fit, it will be very bizarre. He was waiting for Christ to appear, and instead of Christ this guy, Krishna, appears: he seems to be debauched. And the flute? The world is suffering and people are hungry and they need bread – and this man is playing on the flute? He seems to be utterly uncompassionate, he seems to be indulgent. The Christian cannot believe in Krishna: if God appears as Krishna, then the Christian will say, “This is not God.”
And the same will be the case with the Hindu who was waiting for Krishna: if Christ appears, that will not be his idea of God – so sad, such a long face, so gloomy, with such suffering on his face.
Christians say Jesus never laughed. I don’t think they are right, and I don’t think they are representing the real Christ, but that’s what they have managed to propagate. The Hindu cannot accept the revelation; he must think this is some kind of nightmare. Jesus will not appeal to him.
The believer cannot even trust his own experience. Even if truth is revealed, he will reject it, unless it fits with him. He is more important than truth itself: truth has an obligation to fit with him. He is the criterion, he is the decisive factor. This kind of man can never know truth; he is already prejudiced, poisoned.
The man who wants to know truth has to be capable of dropping all concepts about truth. Everything about truth has to be dropped. Only then can you know truth. Know well: to know about truth is not to know truth. Whatsoever you know may be utter nonsense; there is every possibility that it is utter nonsense. In fact people can be conditioned to believe any kind of nonsense; they can be convinced.
Once I went to address a conference of theosophists. Now, theosophists are people who will believe any bullshit – ANY! The more shitty it is, the more believable. So I just played a joke on them. I simply invented something; I invented a society called “Sitnalta.” They were all dozing, they became alert. “Sitnalta?” I made the word by just reading “Atlantis” backwards. And then I told them, “This knowledge comes from Atlantis, the continent that disappeared in the Atlantic ocean.”
And then I talked about it: “There are really not seven chakras but seventeen. That great ancient esoteric knowledge is lost, but a society of enlightened masters still exists, and it still works. It is a very very esoteric society, very few people are allowed to have any contact with it; its knowledge is kept utterly secret.”
And I talked all kinds of nonsense that I could manage. And then the president of the society said, “I have heard about this society.” Now it was my turn to be surprised. And about whatsoever I had said, he said that it was the first time that the knowledge of this secret society had been revealed so exactly.
And then letters started coming to me. One man even wrote saying, “I thank you very much for introducing this inner esoteric circle to the theosophists, because I am a member of the society, and I can vouch that whatsoever you have said is absolutely true.”
There are people like these who are just waiting to believe in anything, because the more nonsensical a belief is, the more important it appears to be. The more absurd it is, the more believable – because if something is logical, then there is no question of believing in it.
You don’t believe in the sun, you don’t believe in the moon. You don’t believe in the theory of relativity: either you understand it or you don’t understand it; there is no question of belief. You don’t believe in gravitation; there is no need. Nobody believes in a scientific theory – it is logical. Belief is needed only when something illogical, something utterly absurd, is propounded.
Tertullian said, “I believe in God because it is absurd: Credo Quia Absurdum, my creed is the absurd.”
All beliefs are absurd. If a belief is very logical, it will not create belief in you. So people go on inventing things.
Man is basically a coward, he does not want to inquire. And he does not want to say “I don’t know” either.
Now, that president of the theosophical society who said, “I have heard about this society” – he cannot say that he does not know, he does not have even that much courage. To accept one’s ignorance needs courage. To accept that you don’t know is the beginning of real knowledge. You go on believing, because there are holes in your life which have to be filled, and belief is easily available.
There are three hundred religions on the earth. One truth, and three hundred religions? One God, and three hundred religions? One existence, and three hundred religions? And I am not talking about sects – because each religion has dozens of sects, and then there are sub-sects of sects, and it goes on and on. If you count all the sects and all the sub-sects, then there will be three thousand or even more.
How can so many beliefs, contradictory to each other, go on? People have a certain need – the need not to appear ignorant. How to fulfill this need? Gather a few beliefs. And the more absurd the belief is, the more knowledgeable you appear, because nobody else knows about it.
There are people who believe in a hollow earth, and that inside the earth there is a civilization. Now, if somebody says so you cannot deny it; you cannot accept it, but at least you have to listen attentively. And that serves a purpose: everybody wants to be listened to attentively. And one thing is certain, this man knows more than you. You don’t know whether the earth is hollow or not; this man knows. And who knows? He may be right. He can gather a thousand and one proofs; he can argue for it, he can propound it in such a way that you at least have to be silent if you don’t agree.
Believers and believers and believers – but where is truth? There are so many believers, but where is truth? If John Lilly is right, then the world would be full of truth, you would come across it everywhere. Everybody would have truth, because everybody is a believer. No, it is all nonsense.
He says, “What the mind believes is true or becomes true.” No. What the mind believes is never true, because truth needs no belief. Belief is a barrier to truth. And what the mind believes never becomes true, because truth is not becoming, truth is being; it is already the case. You have to see it – or you can go on avoiding seeing it, but it is there. Nothing has to be added to it, it is eternally there.
And the best way to avoid truth is to believe. Then you need not look at it. Your eyes become full of belief; belief functions as dust on the eyes. You become closed into yourself, the belief becomes a prison around you. Belief closes you: then you are living within yourself in a windowless existence, and you can go on believing whatsoever you want to believe. But remember, it is belief, and belief is a lie.
Let me say that even when the truth is told to you, don’t believe in it! Explore, inquire, search, experiment, experience: don’t believe in it. Even when truth is conveyed to you, if you believe in it, you turn it into a lie. A truth believed is a lie, belief turns truth into a lie.
Believe in Buddha and you believe in a lie. Believe in Christ and you believe in a lie. Don’t believe in Christ, don’t believe in Buddha, don’t believe in me. What I say, listen to it attentively, intelligently; experiment, experience. And when you have experienced, will you need to believe in it? There will be no doubt left, so what will be the point of belief? Belief is a way of repressing doubt: you doubt, hence you need belief.
The rock of belief represses the spring of doubt.
When you know, you know! You know it is so; there is no doubt left. Your experience has expelled all darkness and all doubt. Truth is: you are full of it. Truth never creates belief.
How to attain to truth? By dropping all kinds of beliefs. And remember, I am saying all kinds – belief in me is included. Experience me, come along with me, let me share what I have seen, but don’t believe, don’t be in a hurry. Don’t say, “Now what is the point? Now Osho has seen it, all that is left for me is to believe it.”
What I have seen cannot become your experience unless you see it. And it is the experience of truth that delivers you from ignorance, from bondage, from misery. It is not the belief that delivers you, it is truth.
Jesus says, “Truth liberates.” But how to attain to truth? It is not a question of belief, but a question of meditativeness. And what is meditation? Meditation is emptying your mind completely of all belief, ideology, concept, thought. Only in an empty mind, when there is no dust left on the mirror, truth reflects. That reflection is a benediction.